I love what you’ve done with your hair. How did you get it to come out of one nostril like that?
Your house is so nasty, I tripped over a rat, and a cockroach stole my wallet.
Look, don’t go to a mind reader; go to a palm reader; I know you’ve got a palm.
I’d like to see things from your point of view but I can’t seem to get my head that far up my ass.
We know you could not live without us. We’ll pay for the funeral.
When it comes to I.Q. points, you lose them every time you go to the bathroom.
Whatever is eating you – must be suffering horribly.
You are so dull, you can’t even cut a fart.
You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.
You make me believe in reincarnation. Nobody can be as stupid as you in one lifetime.
People clap when they see you – their hands over their eyes or ears.
I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!
Shock me, say something intelligent.
I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in.
Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?
I fart to make u smell better.
Keep talking. I always yawn when I’m interested.